The Ghost of Christmas Past: Glowing Backyard Terds
~~~~~By Adeline Kovae’~~~~~
As I climb into bed on this chilly December evening the fluorescent green glow of the dog poop in the back yard brings a smile to my face. It reminds me of the fun of Christmas day and the living room battlefield inspired by my impulsive shopping of guns – Nerf guns.
As our Christmas days have in the last couple of years, it began with a hail of Nerf bullets raining down upon our heads. Why Nerf wars during a time when everyone is debating real gun issues?
Well, blame it on a sale. One Christmas I found a really good deal on guns and bullets while out on Black Friday. Seven guns and hundreds of bullets later, our tradition turned my already favorite holiday into a strategic war game that began with wrapping paper balls. It’s the best holiday ever!
Say what you will about the negative influence of toy guns, but this mom has found a sure way to working off mummy’s cookies. I must report that the playing field was definitely more dangerous this year due to St. Nick’s shipment of semi-automatic guns to the girls and glow-in-the-dark bullets for everyone so that the blitzkrieg could continue throughout the night. There were Nerf disc-shooter guns as well that brought many a hickey-like neck bruise for grandma, a black eye to the youngest, and a bruised spot at the end of my nose. We wear our Christmas dents proudly because after all we had been good all year. 
Our poor gingerbread house served as a great blockade until it was destroyed while Sparta, our pony-sized puppy, ate as many of the foam projectiles that pelted him as he could get away with. All year long I’ve grown accustomed to collecting the treasured bullets from a variety of clandestine places both in and outside of the house. This year, it seems, that the benefit I have is additional outdoor lighting thanks to the digested and expelled glowing bullets radiating in scattered piles in the backyard- my lovely after-Christmas decorations.
