Roadtrip UTI

~ ~~~~~~by Adeline Kovaè~~~~~~

Mama at the Wheel of Mini-van Madness

JetWetters, yeah, I’ve read it.  Some of the stories are humorously horrifying, but those aren’t the stories for the lower class folks like my family.  Let’s face it, when it costs a family of five over $2500 round-trip to fly on a 90 minute ride to PGH from ATL compared to $500 in gas round-trip to drive in 24 hours to that same destination, which do you think we choose?  It sure isn’t going to be Delta!

It all begins with a decades old blue and white cooler, once used for tailgating at Beaver Stadium at PSU then stored in the attic, and filling it with food and bottled drinks.  Of course this Mini-van of Madness will not be stopping for any kind of food breaks, so bring what you want!

One of the middle seats is ejected from the van to make room for three kids full of “stuff” to keep them from killing each other during the journey.  Say “goodbye!” to the rearview mirror. It’s stuffed with suitcases, pillows, blankets, backpacks, stuffed animals, and just about anything else the kids thought they needed to survive.

Lastly, all i-devices must be charged and have cords attached to the appropriate Mini-van of Madness charging accessory and fitted with headphones so that Mom can blast her “oldies” mix of 80’s and 90’s as loud as she wants!  Of course, when Hubby joins us, he must abide by the i-device rules too.

More room than USAirways

YES! I ask for punishment because I love to travel and do so frequently by myself with the kids.  When the kids were younger it was miserable driving cross-country due to the pacies falling out, lacking the ability to reach the toys wanted, or simply the smell of festering yuk in a young hinney.  However, it is so much WORSE now that my kids are older.

Despite the bags-o-crap occupation of my Mini-van of Madness, there are also the: “He’s looking at me!” “Do you really know how to get there?  How can you be sure?” “You need to let me look at the directions, Mom.  I’m better at electronics than you.” “How much longer until we can stop again?” “I need to pee again.” “You do realize you are going over the speed limit, right?” and not one of those comes from an adult.  UGH! Twelve hours is a long time for one way.

I did “jetwet” twice by myself during my Early Mommy Career many, many moons ago when I was young and stupid. Thank you, Jesus, for the wake-up call to never do that again.  Of course the fact that there is no real way my family of five could afford it helps to eliminate the option all together now.

Fetal Position for the Optimal Traveling Experience

Ah the joys of the working-our-fingers-to-the-bone-and-having-nothing-to-show-for-it class.  Well, almost nothing.  My Mini-van of Madness is paid off, running well, and has hundreds upon hundreds of miles and smiles counted.  Bring on the UTIs!  Who really needs to pee more than once in a 12 hour time period anyway?

Adeline recommends the ScoutMob  travel app for the curious travel. It features articles and updates along with Virtual Facial Hair!


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